when i was only six

Life was so much easier.

Life was just a game, and I were the player, I'd always win.

Life was just a piece of paper, I'd use a pencil to write on it, I'd never be afraid of being wrong, because I knew I had an eraser.

Life was something I'd never regret.

'Tomorrow' was everything I'd wait for.

Now that I am sicksteen.

Everything is just the opposite.

Will I regret life then?

Well, no. Life will always still be the greatest gift God's ever given me. :)

unstoppable me

Ok. I know that some people have been asking me to start writing a book. Haha but seriously, they need to know how hard it is to write a book. It's not as easy as ABC.

I've got some thoughts that will be written in my book - I hate the way I say my book, it's not like I'm really going to.

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"Now I know."
"What do you know?"
"I was too stupid I loved him. I was too stupid that I believed what he'd always said. I should've known that guys tell bullshits."
"I don't."

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"You know I've always loved you."
"I don't. You never told me so."
"I never want to tell you. Because I want you to feel it yourself."
"You should have..... Then who's the girl?"
"Oh that girl?"
"Yeah."
"Jealous?"
"I don't."
"Don't tell me lies."
"I don't."
"Ok. So I know that she may be prettier than you.. but even if life gives me thousands of her, they're nothing compared to you."
"...."
"It's you. It's always been you. There's no other."
"I'm out of words."
"I. Love. You."

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Hm corny much.

the night is not young

1:47 AM

I can't sleep.
The thoughts of you are running in my mind.

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I'm wondering if thoughts of me are running in yours, too..

living in a dream

Dreams.

People believe some dreams are not meant to come true. Really then? I don't know. Yeah perhaps my dreams haven't all come true. But doesn't mean one day, one of my dreams will come true.

But....

To me, if my dreams are not to come true, the hell with it. I've still got more dreams to reach, to work for. I don't understand why some people would just... stop dreaming. When you decide to stop dreaming, it means you decide to give up your everything.

World peace. One of my dreams is to make world peace. Join me? Let's just start in our community. Start loving, stop hating. Remember, if you live to hate, you'll never learn to love.

Anyways,

To be with you is one of my dreams too. :)

when i turn 21

I'm gonna get my first tattoo on my wrist with the words, "No lies, just love."

Anyways talking about life.

Life's been good so far. I attended two parties in a row this weekend, and they were really good. Am I a party animal? Not. Well I guess I deserved the parties I attended, since a girl like me - yes, who goes to a homogenous school with strict rules and teachers and thousand stuffs to do - always spends hours studying like shit.

And again, this is my advice to you:

Life is hard, then try not to harden it. Enjoy life, live it to the highest, don't take it for granted - for your life is the best present you've ever been given.

So has everyone had a good life? :)

kings and queens

Into your eyes

Hopeless and taken

We stole our new lives

Through blood an pain

In defense of our dreams

In defense of our dreams

We were the kings and queens of promise

We were the victims of ourselves

Maybe the children of a lesser god

Between heaven and hell, Heaven and hell.

30 Seconds To Mars - Kings And Queens

So I'm trying to find my own king, and I barely have any idea where he actually is. I don't even know if he actually exists.

Even if I know him, I don't know if he knows I, his queen exist.

People say the right one will come to me, sooner or later. But I keep on thinking, perhaps my right one was to find me but he suddenly got hit by a truck - ha ha. Not. I hope not.

Have you ever felt like.. you actually know that YOU WANT THEM. It's always been them.

But the main problem is, you DON'T KNOW if they feel the same way too.

And that main problem, is the only thing that confuses you: to go on, hoping for them to come to you OR to stop, stop there and start forgetting them.

You know what hurts?

When you keep on showing them signs but they can't seem to understand.

Holy fudge boy, when are you going to open your eyes and start realizing that I am crazy about YOU? AND ONLY YOU?

:(

Ok. So I have a little question for you to answer,

If you like someone so much and you have shown them how much you love them but they can't seem to understand, what will you do then? Just keep on doing what you have been doing or walk away?

Comment on the 'comment'. :)

lies

Everybody lies. Truth.

I did. I still do. Well, I don't really tell lies "lies". How about white lies then?

Ok talking about white lies... they're still lies anyways. However white, however clean the lies you tell, they're still lies anyways.

You ask if they hurt. Well, yes: if you don't know if they're actually lying, but soon you know. And no: if you know they're lying, but they still lie anyway.

Sometimes you just wanna laugh at those liars who keep on lying to you, even when you know they really are. You don't wanna tell them that you know - not because you don't have the guts to, you do; but you wanna know how hard they'll break down because they do lie to you.

Anyways,

Yep, you. I just wanna tell you one thing.

I believe in you. I put my trust in you.

Just please, don't break it.

Because once you break it, it's hard to you to get the privilege back.